Long time no post, huh?
I’ve been mulling over something that’s really been bothering me, and I want to give vent to it.
I want to be able to question myself. I want to be able to do so publicly and without people assuming that just because I question myself means I’m also questioning them. Certainly I’m also looking at others and evaluating their actions and words based on my own life context, but it seems to be a common theme in trans spaces that if a transgender person questions themselves and their identity, that somehow that is wrong and terrible and they need to be either ejected or brought back into the fold of people who are rigidly sure about everything and can present a unified front.
I really feel that this is the wrong way to go about things.
The entire essence of human nature is to question. We’re curious animals who constantly evaluate and reevaluate everything around us and make decisions based on our changing understanding of ourselves and the world around us. It’s how we’ve survived, and how we continue to survive, and how we will keep on surviving in the future.
Why are we, as transgender people, categorically denied this, not just by cisgender people, but people in our own community?
I realize that cis society denies us this as a form of dehumanization, because we are not meant to question things as humans do, but there is this strange feeling in the overall trans ocean of thought that if one questions themselves beyond coming out, somehow they are sick and wrong and mocking everything that being trans stands for.
But we’re human. We’re SUPPOSED to question things, even ourselves.
So why are we forcing ourselves into rigid categories of non-questioning that only serve to dehumanize us?
Not to mention coming down hard on people who admit they may not be 100% certain and want to explore their identity and sense of self more fully.
This movement, this embracing of transgender identity, is ostensibly meant to be about coming to terms with yourself and finding a way to be comfortable with who and what you are as a human being, and we’ve strayed very far from this goal. It’s saddening and I think it will wind up in a dead end if we continue in this manner much longer.
There is so little space for fluidity and reevaluation.
We are ultimately an adaptable, changeable species. We survive by changing our modes of thought in relation to the environment and our sense of self, as well as our perception of ourselves and our identity. We change our behavior based on what we discover in our questioning, and those changes not only allow us to survive, but flourish.
Removing this removes our ability to function as humans.
So why do we do this? Why are we so obsessed with “how to properly be trans” when every person has a different sense of self, a different sense of identity, and a different way of adapting to their physical, emotional, and (what some might call) spiritual environment?
Why are we encouraging our members to become antithesis to the essence of humanity?
Why are we actively destroying that part of us that makes us human?