Long time no post, huh?
I’ve been mulling over something that’s really been bothering me, and I want to give vent to it.
I want to be able to question myself. I want to be able to do so publicly and without people assuming that just because I question myself means I’m also questioning them. Certainly I’m also looking at others and evaluating their actions and words based on my own life context, but it seems to be a common theme in trans spaces that if a transgender person questions themselves and their identity, that somehow that is wrong and terrible and they need to be either ejected or brought back into the fold of people who are rigidly sure about everything and can present a unified front.
I really feel that this is the wrong way to go about things.
The entire essence of human nature is to question. We’re curious animals who constantly evaluate and reevaluate everything around us and make decisions based on our changing understanding of ourselves and the world around us. It’s how we’ve survived, and how we continue to survive, and how we will keep on surviving in the future.
Why are we, as transgender people, categorically denied this, not just by cisgender people, but people in our own community?
I realize that cis society denies us this as a form of dehumanization, because we are not meant to question things as humans do, but there is this strange feeling in the overall trans ocean of thought that if one questions themselves beyond coming out, somehow they are sick and wrong and mocking everything that being trans stands for.
But we’re human. We’re SUPPOSED to question things, even ourselves.
So why are we forcing ourselves into rigid categories of non-questioning that only serve to dehumanize us?
Not to mention coming down hard on people who admit they may not be 100% certain and want to explore their identity and sense of self more fully.
This movement, this embracing of transgender identity, is ostensibly meant to be about coming to terms with yourself and finding a way to be comfortable with who and what you are as a human being, and we’ve strayed very far from this goal. It’s saddening and I think it will wind up in a dead end if we continue in this manner much longer.
There is so little space for fluidity and reevaluation.
We are ultimately an adaptable, changeable species. We survive by changing our modes of thought in relation to the environment and our sense of self, as well as our perception of ourselves and our identity. We change our behavior based on what we discover in our questioning, and those changes not only allow us to survive, but flourish.
Removing this removes our ability to function as humans.
So why do we do this? Why are we so obsessed with “how to properly be trans” when every person has a different sense of self, a different sense of identity, and a different way of adapting to their physical, emotional, and (what some might call) spiritual environment?
Why are we encouraging our members to become antithesis to the essence of humanity?
Why are we actively destroying that part of us that makes us human?
Anonymous asked: yo, so while i agree with what you are saying, you do realize there are some people who detransition after using hormones, right?
I am indeed! and, in studies on detransitioning, something like 90% of people who detransition (possibly more) report a crushing and total lack of social support as their primary reason for doing so. Not, and this is key, any change of heart or lack of clarity whatsoever as to who and what they are. The vast majority of people who detransition do so because the world fucking hates trans people. That’s true of every single person I’ve met who’s detransitioned or contemplated doing so.
Of course, you’re mostly asking about the remaining <10%, and I suppose that’s fair. There are a small number of people (including one or two wealthy celebrities, if I recall) who sincerely Regret It, who wake up one morning realizing they Fucked Up. After All That. I’m sure they exist, because, well, pretty much anything can and does happen on this gay earth.
In either case, yes, there is a nonzero chance that someone who requests HRT might someday deeply regret being given it.
So what? To get where I have so far, I’ve had to wake up every morning and take pills that could kill me dead of thromboembolism any minute. For years, and for the rest of my life. They might stop my heart and kill my liver and break my dick and fuck up my skin and give me cancer and they’ve certainly rendered me infertile. I have demonstrated that I understand these risks, can apply them to my own motivations and circumstances, and ultimately, accept them - this is what is referred to as informed consent.
Regret is simply another risk, and it has its (small) place within the consent process. It is one of the least likely negative outcomes possible from starting HRT, and far from the most serious. While detransitioning is a Very Fucking Significant and almost certainly Sad situation, it is not the end of life. People detransition and transition later in life. People are forced to detransition for absolutely ghastly reasons and put up with it as long as they have to. And, as I once informed my dear old dad back in the days of not quite realizing how messed up he was, in the unfathomably unlikely event that things aren’t what they clearly are, I will have options beyond walking slowly into the nearest ocean.
It’s easy to see withholding HRT as “not intervening” and therefore benign, but this is not accurate. The decision to withhold is both significant and likely to incur profound costs (depression, self-harm, suicide.) HRT is a life-saving intervention for many people who seek it out. There are no established tests (beyond them seeking it out and giving informed consent) that can tell you that deciding your patient isn’t “ready” or “sure” will not, in fact, kill them. Whoopsie doodle! Informed consent is the most good and the least harm we are currently capable of, and it’s hard to see that changing.
Focusing on the risk of regret and detransition as special hazards that pose distinct challenges to an informed consent model comes from living in a society that - once again - hates trans people so much that being “trapped” in a “genderless” or “mixed” form is considered a sort of ultimate poetic horror, perhaps a fate worse than death. It comes from what started gatekeeping, essentially - the idea that the trans existence is pitiable, substandard, for the chosen and truly wretched few at best, and we must protect society from it as much as possible. Such a belief is incompatible with my life and with my living with dignity. What is a “shocking lifestyle” or “strange” to others is and must be normal for me, if I am to be sane and complete. The risks and benefits must be as any others seen in any other sort of life - unembellished by sensationalism - as must be my authority in choosing between them. This is a condition shared by anyone asking a physician to assist them in their transition.
i’ve been mulling over the article about that couple whose kids were taken away because their dad is a trans guy
and it just fucking horrifies me, as a trans guy and as someone who desperately wants to be a father someday
i can’t even imagine the pain they’re going through right now, having your children taken away from you because some douchebags think that your gender, your identity, your very state of existence is somehow harmful and wrong to other people when the only reason it could possibly be an issue is if people like that make it an issue.
it absolutely disgusts me that this even happened, that there is now a legal precedent to have my potential future children torn from me and whoever i settle down with because i am trans
if that ever happens to me my hand to god i will be going straight to prison for murder shortly afterwards
what if i changed my transgender name
is that something i could do
all myfollowers know me as john
but i picked it because of homestuck and i dont read homestuck anymore eehhh
a lot of folks try on a few names before settling on one, dont feel bad tryin somethin else on for size
i was very nearly Scott instead of Sean
Sylvia Rivera (via anarcho-queer)
I left home at age 10 in 1961. I hustled on 42nd Street. The early 60s was not a good time for drag queens, effeminate boys or boys that wore makeup like we did.
Back then we were beat up by the police, by everybody. I didn’t really come out as a drag queen until the late 60s.
When drag queens were arrested, what degradation there was. I remember the first time I got arrested, I wasn’t even in full drag. I was walking down the street and the cops just snatched me.
We always felt that the police were the real enemy. We expected nothing better than to be treated like we were animals-and we were.
We were stuck in a bullpen like a bunch of freaks. We were disrespected. A lot of us were beaten up and raped.
When I ended up going to jail, to do 90 days, they tried to rape me. I very nicely bit the shit out of a man.
I’ve been through it all.
In 1969, the night of the Stonewall riot, was a very hot, muggy night. We were in the Stonewall [bar] and the lights came on. We all stopped dancing. The police came in.
They had gotten their payoff earlier in the week. But Inspector Pine came in-him and his morals squad-to spend more of the government’s money.
We were led out of the bar and they cattled us all up against the police vans. The cops pushed us up against the grates and the fences. People started throwing pennies, nickels, and quarters at the cops.
And then the bottles started. And then we finally had the morals squad barricaded in the Stonewall building, because they were actually afraid of us at that time. They didn’t know we were going to react that way.
We were not taking any more of this shit. We had done so much for other movements. It was time.
It was street gay people from the Village out front-homeless people who lived in the park in Sheridan Square outside the bar-and then drag queens behind them and everybody behind us. The Stonewall Inn telephone lines were cut and they were left in the dark.
One Village Voice reporter was in the bar at that time. And according to the archives of the Village Voice, he was handed a gun from Inspector Pine and told, “We got to fight our way out of there.”
This was after one Molotov cocktail was thrown and we were ramming the door of the Stonewall bar with an uprooted parking meter. So they were ready to come out shooting that night.
Finally the Tactical Police Force showed up after 45 minutes. A lot of people forget that for 45 minutes we had them trapped in there.
All of us were working for so many movements at that time. Everyone was involved with the women’s movement, the peace movement, the civil-rights movement. We were all radicals. I believe that’s what brought it around.
You get tired of being just pushed around.
STAR came about after a sit-in at Wein stein Hall at New York University in 1970. Later we had a chapter in New York, one in Chicago, one in California and England.
STAR was for the street gay people, the street homeless people and anybody that needed help at that time. Marsha and I had always sneaked people into our hotel rooms. Marsha and I decided to get a building. We were trying to get away from the Mafia’s control at the bars.
We got a building at 213 East 2nd Street. Marsha and I just decided it was time to help each other and help our other kids. We fed people and clothed people. We kept the building going. We went out and hustled the streets. We paid the rent.
We didn’t want the kids out in the streets hustling. They would go out and rip off food. There was always food in the house and everyone had fun. It lasted for two or three years.
We would sit there and ask, “Why do we suffer?” As we got more involved into the movements, we said, “Why do we always got to take the brunt of this shit?”
Later on, when the Young Lords [revolutionary Puerto Rican youth group] came about in New York City, I was already in GLF [Gay Liberation Front]. There was a mass demonstration that started in East Harlem in the fall of 1970. The protest was against police repression and we decided to join the demonstration with our STAR banner.
That was one of first times the STAR banner was shown in public, where STAR was present as a group.
I ended up meeting some of the Young Lords that day. I became one of them. Any time they needed any help, I was always there for the Young Lords. It was just the respect they gave us as human beings. They gave us a lot of respect.
It was a fabulous feeling for me to be myself-being part of the Young Lords as a drag queen-and my organization [STAR] being part of the Young Lords.
I met [Black Panther Party leader] Huey Newton at the Peoples’ Revolutionary Convention in Philadelphia in 1971. Huey decided we were part of the revolution-that we were revolutionary people.
I was a radical, a revolutionist. I am still a revolutionist. I was proud to make the road and help change laws and what-not. I was very proud of doing that and proud of what I’m still doing, no matter what it takes.
Today, we have to fight back against the government. We have to fight them back. They’re cutting back Medicaid, cutting back on medicine for people with AIDS. They want to take away from women on welfare and put them into that little work program. They’re going to cut SSI.
Now they’re taking away food stamps. These people who want the cuts-these people are making millions and millions and millions of dollars as CEOs.
Why is the government going to take it away from us? What they’re doing is cutting us back. Why can’t we have a break?
I’m glad I was in the Stonewall riot. I remember when someone threw a Molotov cocktail, I thought: “My god, the revolution is here. The revolution is finally here!”
I always believed that we would have a fight back. I just knew that we would fight back. I just didn’t know it would be that night.
I am proud of myself as being there that night. If I had lost that moment, I would have been kind of hurt because that’s when I saw the world change for me and my people.
Of course, we still got a long way ahead of us.
I saw a picture on Instagram today of a girl wearing a girl’s shirt but with a somewhat boyish hair style and her description was “my friend made me look like a boy haha!” and she hashtagged it as #tomboy #trans
Does anyone else find that really offensive..? Looking boyish doesn’t mean the same thing as trans. I hate it went people undermine this identity like that.
hey, did you ever consider that possibly that person could have been a young trans man just coming out and not used to the nomenclature we usually use? that maybe that girly shirt was all he had in his wardrobe at least for the time being before he can afford to go out and buy new stuff?
its a possibility
one thing people forget is that there is a huuuuuuge difference between representation in a fictional context, and representation in real life
an actor portraying someone as trans* can take that particular mantle off at the end of the day unless they themselves are trans*, and even then the specifics are vastly different between the actor’s life and the character’s life
when it comes to actual real human beings, hoping that someone is trans* three seconds after they’re born is kind of cruel imo, just because dysphoria is such a horrible, soul-crushing feeling, and so many trans* folks attempt suicide and nearly all of us have suffered some pretty damn heavy social stigma that can result in some pretty gross shit
so yeah, it’s okay to wish/headcanon that a fictional character is trans*, and i encourage it wholeheartedly
but wishing that a real person, especially a child, is trans* is absolutely crossing the line
our lives aren’t fun, ok
we’re not rainbow-shitting unicorns
please stop treating us as such
I’m in dire need of a binder… I seriously cannot handle looking at myself in the mirror. The dysphoria is… crippling. I haven’t left the house in days, because I can’t take being a girl…
If anyone could help me out, I would be grateful beyond expression.
Size: Medium (36-ish)
I have no preferences on style, I mean I’d like a long one cause I’ve got a pretty nice-sized belly going on.
I don’t know how much I could afford… I mean, I could probably get a few bucks off my parents, but they’d be suspicious and probably yell at me. But, uh… If shipping isn’t too much, maybe? I could draw or paint you something… I’m getting pretty good with clay, maybe I could make you a sculpture? Anything we can work out. I’m willing to do pretty much anything.
my email is email@example.com if you think you can help. Or drop me an ask… or even hit me up on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/satsu.hart - I’m always looking for more trans friends) I’d appreciate it.
Please, Tumblr. Don’t let me down.
Help a poor guy out?
I love that as a trans queer I can’t even be like, “I am attracted to the opposite gender” because there is no gender opposite to mine I stand unopposed I have no rival and that is why I will be the one to transcend god and reign as supreme master of the fabric of space and time
I know some people think big steps in their transition is starting T or getting surgery. But here’s to the guys who bought their first pair of boxers, to the guys who bought their first lot of mens deodorant, to the guys who held their head high in public. I’m proud of you all - Ashton